I have a confession to make to all my young readers. Lately, I have been a hypocrite. Allow me to explain. I preach stress reduction, body love and acceptance in every single one of my articles but when it comes to my own body -- well -- Ive been having a hard time taking my own advice. Sure, I accept the fact that Im not a super model. I accept the fact that my chest isnt a Double-D and I have NO INTENTION of ever doing anything surgically about that. As long as I am eating right and exercising and I look good according to my own standards, then I am happy with what I see. I thought I had come to terms with the mirror a long time ago.
Then in October 2006, I underwent laparoscopic surgery and was diagnosed with stage 1 endometriosis. Endometriosis is a painful, chronic disease that affects 5 1/2 million women and girls in the United States and Canada, and millions more worldwide (visit http://www.endometriosisassn.org/family.html to learn more about how endometriosis affects teenage girls and young women). After years of suffering major pelvic pain and other yucky symptoms I was relieved to finally have a real medical diagnosis. It wasnt just all in my head. However, I was so stressed out after my surgery that my skin broke out like I was 13 years old all over again. I had horrible acne when I was a kid and I was teased mercilessly for it. Every time I looked in the mirror back then I started to cry and cursed the imperfect reflection.
Fifteen years later, here I am back in front of the mirror, cursing the imperfect reflection. Im growing a business. Im meeting with clients. I am a role model for teens. How am I supposed to act confident with acne all down the sides of my face? I have been hiding out in my apartment. When I pass people on the street, I hide my face with my hair (smart move considering the chemicals I put in my hair to keep it frizz-free!). To be able to face my family over the Christmas holiday, I wore a lot of makeup, which probably only made the problem worse.
Scars that I had buried years ago are now staring me square in the face and its not pretty, both literally and metaphorically. I think you should try rereading some of your articles and take your own advice, my 27-year-old husband said to me last night with a sympathetic nod of the head. He was right. It was time to try a new approach. I went to my mirror this morning, cupped the sides of my face with my hands and said, I forgive you. Cheesy? Yes -- but it worked. I smiled at my reflection in that stupid piece of glass for the first time in weeks. And took back control over my life. What a gift to give myself first thing in the morning!
If you ever start to curse any of your supposed imperfections, try to take these words to heart: The acne will heal, the pounds will melt, the scars will fade; but the image you have of yourself lasts a lifetime. So make it a good one.
Do you:
Ever find yourself preaching body love to your friends yet have a hard time following your own advice?
Believe that the world around you notices your flaws as much as you think they do?
Shoot me an email and let's discuss this. I love to hear from students!
Maria Pascucci is the President of Campus Calm (http://www.campuscalm.com). She helps high school & college students achieve balance, reduce stress, increase self-confidence and gain perspective in our hectic, achievement obsessed world. Free reports for students, parents and educators available with subscription to Campus Calm Connections. Maria lives in Buffalo, New York with her graphic designer husband, Shaun, who shares the homepage of their personal writing/design website (http://www.creativetypeco.com). Contact her at maria@campuscalm.com.
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