Teenagers are so much fun to work with. They can also be very challenging, irritating, provoking, etc. etc.
Here are ten tips for survival when you are running a teen group.
1. Keep your sense of humor
This is an absolute must. You have got to be able to laugh at them and at yourself. That way they are less likely to laugh at you.
2. Keep it interactive
Remember the scene in "Ferris Beuller's Day Off" with the incredibly boring teacher played by by Ben Stein? If you do not keep the group interactive, you will come across just like him. Play games, show clips from movies and TV, role play stuff, go outside, etc. etc.
3. Be the authoritative mentor
Don't go in trying to be their friend, at least not at first. You can get to that later. They are watching to see if you will be in charge and can handle them.
4. Set the rules
Playing off the above rule, you need to set the rules for the group from the beginning. Come in with your own, and then ask them to contribute some too. This will make them much more invested in keeping them.
5. Be firm and caring
Teens are looking for two things from you at first:
=> Do you care about them?
=> Can you handle them?
6. Use positive peer pressure
When I first started doing teen groups years ago, I had been working with this one kid and trying to get him to see something about himself that was really getting in the way. Just couldn't get through to him on it. In the first session of the first group he was in, some other kids pointed out this SAME THING to him and he got it.
And I got it that this was a powerful way to work with teens.
7. Let the silence work
While it is important to keep it lively and interactive as I said above, it is also important to occasionally do what my group therapy mentor Pat Johnson called "let the silence work." Sometimes much can be learned in silence.
8. Hang out with them
When other counselors first began to ask me how I work so well with teens and especially with groups, my first suggestion was to just hang out with them. And that's still my first suggestion.
9. Count every now and then
The way I run groups, each kid (or parent, actually) pays a certain fee per group. There are certain times, stressful times, when it is useful to look around the group, look at each kid, and think, $35 for that one, $35 for that one, $35 for that one, etc. It's kept me sane more than once.
10. Keep you sense of humor
I know I have used this one twice. Did it on purpose too. Because that is just how important keeping your sense of humor is in this situation.
Visit http://www.ParentingYourTeenager.com for tips and tools for thriving during the teen years. For regular weekly tips you can subscribe to our f-ree Parenting Your Teenager Newsletter. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 5 day e-program on The Top 5 Things to Never Say to Your Teenager from parenting coach and expert Jeff Herring.
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