Have you ever been in a situation where your friends have asked you to perform something that you knew was wrong? Yet you went out and did it, so that you could be a part of that group. Did you feel right about it, was it worth the effort? We have all gone through some form of Peer Pressure in our lives. Is Peer Pressure bad or good?
Peer Pressure is the pressure to do certain things, to act in a particular way, and to look like you belong to a specific group. It is an influence to fit into a particular lifestyle. Depending on the type of influence Peer Pressure can be good or it can be bad. When someone is encouraging and supportive and is trying to influence you to do the right thing, where it will improve you and not harm you or others, then it is a good thing. On the other hand when you are encouraged to do wrong things, then it is bad.
How do we help our children to deal with Peer Pressure? Better still, we as adults also have to deal with this issue, what is the best way to go about it? We have to decide what we let influence our lives and what is good for our families. From a family point of view we need to keep the communication channels open and talk to our young people and discuss important issues and how to deal with these issues when they come up. Then the children will have a standard to apply to the Peer Pressure that is being applied to them.
Strong beliefs help and are an advantage. Knowing what is good and right will give a clear direction to act and not desire to choose the wrong action. From a Religious view the key is to always put Godly principles first then other influences will have the right perspective. I for one have encouraged young people to know what is right and wrong, and if it does not feel good when you think about it, Dont Do It!
While teaching a class of ten year old children, we had a role play where the kids in the groups applied pressure to one child to act out a specific role to be a part of a Cool group. They had to perform an act like stealing a mars bar from the local shop. The children wanted to belong to the group so much that they did not think about the implications of their actions. In the heat of the excitement, the children were confused and were unsure, but due to the encouragement and egging on from their peers the children went through with the deed.
It was only in the debrief the children realised what they did was wrong. After that the children decided that it was wrong to steal and they would not do it to just belong to a Cool group. Since that role play the children have encountered other pressures and they have been prepared to act on their beliefs by doing the right things and not reacting to Peer Pressure.
Understanding and knowing the moral values helps people and children deal with peer group pressures.
Encouraging peer group pressure can be helpful. It helps to improve self worth, confidence, outlook, and further develop meaningful friendships. Comments that inspire others to achieve and to complete the allotted task are very positive and they do make a difference to the person who is being encouraged. Praise is wonderful, and it is one of the great positive Peer Pressures available to all groups. More people need to use it. The results from this one little sincere act of admiration can move mountains.
Peer Pressure is only a problem when the person that it is applied to is unprepared to deal with it. Children who understand and know what is right and wrong are more able to react to Peer Pressure in the right manner. Tell your child if others ask you to do something wrong, and it feels wrong then Dont Do It.
Andrew Borodin is a retired teacher who enjoys helping kids and their parents build stronger family ties for their lifetime.http://www.parent-child-help.com
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